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There are no rules.
See rule 1.
The Grand Master (GM) is always right.
When the GM is wrong, rule 4 applies.
The Religious Adviser (RA) is always right
except when rule 4 applies.
The Hash Statistics are always right. If there
is a perceived discrepancy between the stats and
reality then reality is warped.
No stealing (see hereunder - definition of
Stealing - the covert removal of another
Hasher's property with the intention of
depriving said hasher of such property for an
indefinite period of time.
No stealing, but borrowing is okay (see
hereunder the definition of borrowing):
Borrowing - the act of covert temporary removal
of another Hasher's property (property in this
instance is confined to items of a portable
nature and directly related to hashing such as
mugs, bugles and run books). Substantial items
such as kegs whilst being directly related to
hashing should never be borrowed. At all times
the property borrowed is held for a relatively
short period of time and always returned in good
order. Often suitable engraving to record for
posterity the guile of the borrower enhances
such property. Borrowing is a complex issue and
where any doubt exists the GM should be
Rain is not permitted during Hash runs. The RA
is personally responsible for ensuring that fine
conditions prevail for a period of not less than
four hours each Hash day from 15:00.
No discrimination. Poms, Frogs, unemployed,
dogs, women, NGO types, criminals, teachers,
disabled, nymphomaniacs and even lawyers are all
encouraged to run Hash. Alcoholics are
particularly welcome. Athletes are tolerated in
some Hashes. Athletes, dogs and women whilst
permitted to run can never aspire to become
Definitely no poofters.
Under no circumstances are poofters permitted to
No training. Hashers caught training will be
deemed to have breached rule 15 and will be
liable to punishment. A range of activities may
be interpreted as training, and for guidance the
following non-exhaustive list is provided:
a) running other than official Hash runs
b) cycling (fornication on a push bike is
c) visiting a gymnasium for any other purpose
than perving on the aerobics class
d) using the stairs while lifts or escalators
e) servicing the wife/girlfriend when so pissed
it is a marathon effort.
f) stretching of
any kind (though exceptions may me made for
particularly beautiful women).
All Hashers must commit to memory rules 1, 2 and
3 and be able to recite them at any hour of the
day or night regardless of their state of
Poofterism will not be f**king tolerated under
No fighting on the Hash. This rule is absolute
and the entire culture of Hash relies on strict
adherence to this rule. If a fellow Hasher
causes you immense displeasure by stealing your
car or impregnating your daughter (wives are
exempt) then belt shit out of him at some other
place than Hash and on some other day than
Hashday which is a day of reverence and
Poofters will be shot on sight. No poofters.
Amendments to Rules 2, 7, 11, 14, 16, 19, 21 and
22 are illegal.
* Poofter: 1) Somebody that should not be on the
Hash 2) A Whiner or Winger 3) Somebody that lets
other people find trail. 4) A Poofter.